THE MAYBE (WO)MAN PATTERN OF CHRONICITY

August 4, 2020

There is a pattern that IEMT practitioners work with called the MAYBE (wo)man pattern. It’s a pattern of chronicity, which means it becomes habitual in the person that practices it. The pattern is defined by the persons lack of ability to make a decision, be certain about their experience, or remain unclear about which path is the right one for them to follow. It’s like being stuck in a state of “I’m not sure“. 

 

 

Most people have areas of their life where they feel very certain and very sure, and have smaller areas where they are confused and unsure.  For these people identifying the pattern may be all that is needed to change it.  However, people with anxiety tend to practice the MAYBE (wo)man pattern very strongly, and in many areas of their life. This stand to reason that being uncertain about one’s experience can create anxiety. It’s like having one foot on the break and one foot on the gas. If you think about driving a car and you’re revving  the gas while simultaneously keeping a foot on the break, it creates a lot of heat and friction, makes a lot of noise, but you get nowhere and risk burning out the engine. It’s kind of like this on the body’s central nervous system when we’re in a state of MAYBE. There is usually a desire or want (gas) that the person has, to move forward with certainty.  There is also a hesitancy or fear (break) to move forward and this creates an internal process of revving up thinking about what to do and about not doing it.

 

 

People can get very used to living with uncertainty and living in the MAYBE. It can be a way of not getting involved, it can be a way of looking like a nice guy/gal, it can be standing firmly in a fear of making a decision.  However, there is a level of discomfort in being uncertain about ones experience and thus begins the process of anxiety

 

How does a IEMT help? IEMT can alleviate fears around decision making, reduce negative emotions around past problematic decision-making experiences, and bring the client into the present moment so they can decide what they really want and feel comfortable doing so. 

 

Even more simple, for you to do on your own, is to first notice when decision-making becomes a problem. When someone asks you for your opinion, do you say “I don’t know?”  Do you say “I’m not sure?”  Stop yourself and make a decision, even if it isn’t important , even if it’s just what to have for dinner.  It is the beginning of breaking the pattern and good practice for future decisions.  Ask yourself what you want to do for the weekend and notice if confusion starts to come up.  What about how you feel? Notice when you don’t make a decision about some thing and you live in the MAYBE, does that situation continue to live in your head bouncing around causing tension?  Just notice?

 

 

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